Year one and My Learnings of being a Stay at home Mom

One year has past since I quit my job to stay home and raise our girls. There are days I wonder how I could have ever done anything different and there are days I wonder why I ever left the work place to begin with. There have been days I wonder how I ever managed to work and be a mom and there are days I wonder how on Earth anyone who has kids has a clean house. 

There have been moments of great excitement and moments of great frustrations, moments of laughter and moments of tears, bouts of anger and illness but through it all we all survived the first year. In that first year we added Paige to the family, Quinn started Preschool and dance, Emily started talking, Emily is potty training, Paige started crawling and has become a bottomless pit, and I started to learn that my children may be the most stubborn, bull headed, opinionated, dramatic,loving little people there are in the world.

A look back at the highlights

Quinn: the Drama Queen
*Cut her own hair: "because I needed a short cut and you weren't doing it!"
*Uses and understands Moods: "I was grumpy so I wasn't going to smile since you didn't take me for a walk" "I'm going to be mad b/c Emily is touching me and I don't like when she touches me ! (Emily smiling mischievously)" "STOP LOOKING AT ME, I don't like that, now I'm going to pout"
*Is TERRIFIED of bugs to the point she won't walk across the drive way after the rains due to all the worms.
*Learned to ride a bike
*Learned to Swim
*LOVES to shop
*Will run down the hall and throw herself on the bed (in a very Disney princess fashion) and cry because something didn't go her way
*Is tenderhearted: will burst into tears every time you remotely raise your voice at or in her general direction
*Favorite Phrases: "but I want to listen, I want to earn my star back!"

Emily: The carefree spirit
*Learned to talk
*Loves to swing and will spend HOURS on the swing set
*Loves birds - unless they land in the yard and then she has to chase them - Outside and she keeps disappearing from my line of sight, I finally ask her what she is doing "I chasing birds mom!" Well of course she is, I guess we won't need a dog anytime soon.
*Has an extremely quick temper
*Is the instigator of most of Quinn's dramatic outbursts and Paige's screams of Terror
*Can climb out of her crib - but is smart enough to only do it when the bean bag is there for her to jump on
* favorite phrase: "What do in the morning"



Paige: My sunshine
* Usually a very happy baby (unless there is no food on her plate)
* the least picky eater and a bottomless pit
* Started crawling 4/2/2017
* giggles at her sisters ALOT
* Mommy's girl - but gets REALLY excited when Daddy comes home
* refuses to sleep through the night if Mommy is home!

Overall the last year has been good, an adjustment, but good and as much as the kids have grown and changed, I have done even more changing and discovering about myself.

In that year I've learned that it is okay to need time to yourself. It took me a year but I know that if I get up before the kids, eat breakfast and spend 30 min just to myself, I have a much better day. 

I have learned that having organized activities helps move our day along more smoothly. And being flexible. in the beginning I had a very strict schedule and would get anxious when it didn't go exactly as planned. Then Paige was born and all schedules went out the window and it was survival mode. Now I just plan activities and we move from one activity to another and if we don't get to them all that is okay.

I have learned that it is important to have a network of friends - and this has been the biggest adjustment because most of my friends work so getting out during the day is hard and sometimes results in very long days because my Adult interaction is so limited. Due to that I have to take advantage of the evenings and regardless of how much I should do I need to just make time to go for that walk, go play volleyball, or go to a movie. Admittedly I'm better about some than others, as how much time I spend on an activity is dictated in part by what time Craig gets home and what time the kids go to bed.

I have learned that it is ok to Leave your kids and have date nights - Ok I've always known this and I enjoy these nights - sometimes convincing Craig who works all week and has an endless TO Do list around the house (mostly his, not mine) is another matter; that and finding babysitters is challenging, but on the nights we do get out of the house it is so wonderful. I'm also coming to love giving up my whole chair and snuggling while we unwind with a good TV show at night as a substitute to going out.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put you and your spouses needs ahead of your kids, because if you and/or your spouse fall apart, that isn't good for the kids either.

I have learned that less is more - I don't need a bigger house, I need less stuff in my house. The kids don't need more toys, they need a few toys that will foster their imagination, and a rotation of what is upstairs. That realization has now taken hold it has been a whole other journey to begin the process of purging and re- decorating.

I have learned that cleaning, while necessary in life, is highly overrated and nearly impossible to keep up with while children are awake... so if you show up at my house, leave your judgement pants at home - it is going to be a disaster... and no I'm not OK with that, but I'm SLOWLY coming to terms with the fact that I'll miss the mess at some point, but for now it drives me nuts!

The theme around my learnings, is take to care of yourself and your spouse, make friends and foster those friendships outside of children, because when the children get their own life, you'll need one too and it is harder to build one at 60 than it is at 30.

 
<3 Jacque

Potty Training Nighmares

Emily is starting the potty training journey and I'll admit, this is NOT going well, I am having several issues.

1. It has to be her idea -  she is strong headed, that one, so I can ask and ask and put her on the potty and sit with her for 20 min reading stories and she won't go, but five minutes after she gets off the potty she'll have an accident. I'm pretty sure just to spite me.

   *One day she was in the bathroom playing in the sink with her sister and the barbie who gives her dog a bath, not 4 steps from the toilet and she had an accident everywhere, this was not 5 minutes after I'd taken her to sit on the potty.

2. Incentives - we implemented an incentive program - and yes I know all the research out there says not to use food as an incentive, but the kid loves chocolate, and could care less about stickers so we thought this was a win win. She does GREAT when she is hungry, before meal times and around snack times, "Treat Mommy!"

*I had to move the treat stash as she started sneaking them every time she went potty, in her diaper!

3. Naked Butts - if I put a pull up or underwear on her she will forget to go so I let her run around the house without pants on. This is all fine and dandy on those days we have no where to go. But that is only 2 days a week and some weekends. This results in having to do a pull up or diaper while we are on our "adventures" which I worry confuses and sets her back.

   *sitting in her highchair at lunch she had on a dress and leggings as we'd been playing in the basement; she "forgot" and pottied, seeing as she was in the highchair the mess resulted in the floors getting mopped and the high chair getting a spray down.
   *It is also the season of never ending illness so when running around naked and tummy issues happen.... well lets just say the clean up is even less desirable than having to mop the floor. Not to mention a grossed out older sister!

 For many reasons, I NEED her pottied trained, but mostly because diapers are ridiculous, she is almost 3, and we are considering preschool in the fall.

She is great at telling me when she needs to be changed, but not so great at telling me when she has to go! OH EMILY!

the face I usually get when I ask "Do you have to go potty?" "NO!"

What worked for you?

<3 Jacque

Sportsmanship

The other night my family and I attended the Remsen St. Mary's vs. LeMars Gehlen boys basketball game, and I want to commend both teams and fans on their sportsmanship.

I have been to a lot of high school basketball games over the last couple years, and have seen a large number of excellent examples of sportsmanship and a large number of negative examples of sportsmanship; and not just from the players, but from fans as well.

NOT TONIGHT! Both teams played with heart, hustle and most importantly - Respect. Respect for their team, for their fans, for their opponent, for the officials, and for the sport itself.

Both fan bases were equally excited, they cheered loudly and they were enthusiastic. Something I didn't hear much of was booing or negative comments to players or officials, even when calls may not have gone their way.

As a parent who brings her young children to these games I was humbled and gracious to everyone that I didn't have to shy my kids away from that, or explain why they can't act like that.

To the parents, teachers, fans, coaches and most importantly players - THANK YOU. Thank you for showing my children that you can play with heart and hustle and not degrade your opponent. You can win and be excited and still understand the heartbreak the other team is feeling. You can lose graciously knowing that you left it all on the court and hold your head high as you congratulate the other team.

Gehlen Catholic and Remsen St. Mary's families, you both have a lot to be proud of tonight, and I am not just talking about your basketball records, for that I congratulate you.I pray that both schools can continue these examples of sportsmanship, so when other young families attend their events they walk away with a feeling of restored hope and kindness in a world where we see so much negative.

Congratulations to both teams!

Update: Remsen St. Mary's made it to the State Tournament where they were awarded the Class 1A sportsmanship award. I am excited for my children to be a part of a school that takes this part of life so seriously and am excited that others have recognized this as I have. Congratulations Hawks!

                                             *State Basketball Cheering Section*